21 Ways to Drink Your Way Through Love at First Kiss
Posted on September 15 2016
WARNING: This is only suitable for viewers twenty-one years of age and up.
Declared as “the worst reality show to ever air,” Love at First Kiss clearly needs a drinking game. Championing chemistry over conversation when it comes to first impressions, this dating show requires contestants lip lock immediately upon meeting. If the kiss goes well, they can go on a two-minute speed date and then, a full date. It sounds painfully awkward because it is. With a slogan like “Will true love be sealed with a kiss, or will it be a total miss?” you will absolutely need booze to survive this show.
WHAT YOU NEED:
Alcohol: My personal choice is a vodka and seltzer or glass of sangria, but the choice is yours. You can never go wrong with beer—PBR anyone?
Companions: Friends who drink together, stay together. Also, cute boys.
A TV: The bigger, the more cringe worthy.
Time: Please make room in your schedule for Wednesdays at 10 PM ET.
RULES: You will and want to drink a lot, but thank god for commercials in between. Drink whenever:
1. You feel paralyzed by an atrocity like this kiss.
2. A bottom lip is bitten.
3. One of the contestants says “thank you” after the kiss. I’m dead serious, this happens a lot.
4. You see tongue (a lot to handle).
5. You’re literally scared by someone’s description of his or her kissing technique.
6. The person cites a ridiculous reason not to kiss or go on the speed date, like gauges.
7. Drink twice if a contestant says something absolutely heartbreaking like “I’ve just given up on the idea that someone would be attracted to me.”
8. Cheers all around if you feel emotionally attached to a contestant.
9. A contestant says something absolutely insane, like “I’ve probably already fallen in love. I’ve definitely fallen in love with that girl in there.”
10. Drink all around when you’re actually rooting for the pair.
11. The dude doesn’t walk the girl to the door after the speed date.
12. When a contestant has named his own kissing style, like “The Whirly Dirly.”
13. Drink twice if someone gets stood up for the speed date because it's horrible and you'll want an activity to distract yourself.
14. The person keeps his or her eyes open and you want to die. Don’t stop until the kiss stops.
15. One of the contestants mysteriously assigns a personality trait to the other simply based on the kiss, like “She’s reserved.” Don’t stop until they’re done assigning a character history.
Finish your drink when:
16. A contestant says something like “apparently I’m going to have to kiss a stranger” as if she didn’t know what she was doing when she signed up for the show.
17. You question a contestant’s wardrobe choice or hairstyle.
18. A contestant refuses to kiss another contestant (this is always so horrible maybe finish your drink).
19. They interact with the people behind the camera.
20. A cheesy pop song comes on while the person is walking away after the kiss.
21. You hear some variation of the title like, “I definitely didn’t find love at first kiss.”